In the current modern age India, you would come across three kind of women.
First – The traditionally rooted women who would change her surname after marriage. Adopting husbands last name has been a common practice since generations beyond. Be it our mom or masi, chachi’s of the families, they would follow the custom without any questions asked and so do some women in today’s time.
Second – The women who try to strike the right balance by owning two surnames i.e maiden and in-laws. Be it Kareena Kapoor Khan or Aishwarya Rai Bachan, these set of women believe in keeping their maiden identity alive and at the same time embark on their journey of marriage.
Third – The women who held their heads high by believing in retaining their original identity like the famous Twinkle Khanna who shunned a man who kept asking her why she did not changed her surname by just a mere statement #marriednotbranded.
Whatever the case may be, its completely normal for a women to choose or take decision of adopting hubby’s surname or not. But this has been quite a controversial topic, specially when you have crotchety uncles and aunts who comment and give judgements on your decision.. like some say ‘you are married na, so you should not be disrespectful to your inlaws’ or others may give a tap on ur back and say ‘ that’s what i call women empowerment’ …arrgh like seriously..
So what should one do to ease of the paparazi around the surname change.
1. Talk it out with your hubby. Clearly inform him whats on your mind. You may feel protective about your maiden name, but to clear your thoughts is extremely important.
2. Do listen to your husband on what he thinks about the change… does he feel fine you keeping your maiden name or is he forced by his parents or does he desire that you as a couple be called as mr and mrs xyz..
3. It should not be a one sided decision, a mutual consent is what is needed to let this issue not bother you.
4. Once finalised, ‘say it loud’, ‘believe it loud’ and ‘live it loud’ and let no nasty comments upset you.
Well to just give you a little push i would prefer giving an example of my own situation…I am Mrs. Sonam Jain and i did adopt my hubby’s surname. Initially i started feeling all protective about my maiden name, however my husband expressed his view on how he had dreamed and desired of his wife owning every bit of his life including his surname and his thought process made me love him more and got me to easily take a decision.. Although for my personal gratification i kept my maiden signature intact in all our documents, we broke all the hype the society has created on surname change issues.