Things no one tells #Momstobe

Its been 9 months of wait to see your baby cuddle in your arm, nurture the kiddo with your pure milk, play with baby’s tinkling eyes or just smile watch the baby grow up…you have waited for it, right from the day you got to know you were pregnant. However in this process, there are lot of things no parents, no inlaws, no experts, no doctors tell you.

 
Here is a list for all the #momstobe to refer to just to prepare and plan your baby birth in advanced
  1. Crying is the only emotion and communication form babies know. Turn a deaf hear to peers complaining your baby cries a lot or less. It varies from babies to babies
  2. Babies tend to loose 1kg weight after birth. Its normal as long as baby is consuming your or formula milk well
  3. You will take 10-15mins to go to bathroom specially when you have stitches because of the vaginal  delivery.
  4. Breastfeeding is a tough process..if you believe the baby will latch on you and get unlimited supply of milk, you are highly wrong. There could be delays or clogging at times which will keep your baby hungry and crying.
  5. You will take an hour or more to get your baby ready to visit a doctor which may be 2 blocks away from the house. Wonder why ?? When you are above to leave the house your baby will pee or poo or understanding the clothing requirements takes time – will they feel too hot or cold or sweater is needed or not etc etc …the list is endless
  6. You will find it difficult to understand why your baby is crying and may keep checking diaper or re-feed him/her
  7. You will not like your body..no its not because of the stretchmarks alone but also of the baby bump which will take time to shrink in.
  8. Your babies features/habits would be contemplated by the whole of universe ..trying to judge the baby’s gone on mom or dad. Well that’s not a problem but you may get too overwhelmed and would not want to hear the judgement based on your genes.
  9. Changes in babies skin, colour etc is to happen. Some babies have fragile skin or pigmented skin at birth which would fade away with time. Don’t let people remark affect you.
  10. Growth pattern of your baby is going to be different from other babies..so don’t compare as it may scare you or freak you out. Each baby has different speed of achieving the milestone.
 
Lastly, remember Motherhood is a special gift to mankind. Don’t get hard on yourself because people around say something which they feel is right. There will be good days and bad days; there will be right days and wrong days; there will be high days and lows days…but it is on you how you make this memorable experience of lifetime.
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5 Habits of an Organised Mommy

Our child should be Disciplined !! This us what we expect as parents, don’t we?? But are you as a mother being disciplined enough to inculcate and be the role model for your kid..

Well, whatever type of mommy you may be, we are here to share some tips and advice for all the mommy’s to inculcate these 5 habits in your daily routine..

BE THE FIRST ONE UP

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Get up before your kids and husband wake up to enjoy the uninterrupted time in the mornings.. you can choose to trot around the house, do some yoga or sip some coffee in silence. Its worth every moment before you kick start your day.

CREATING A MORNING ROUTINE

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Mornings can be chaotic when everyone is bounded by time. Create a to do list on things that are to be done in morning hrs and follow them to ease out the pressure.
  • Get up before your family
  • Complete kitchen task like boiling milk, preparing breakfast/ lunch, packing kids lunchbox and husband’s tiffin
  • Move on to making your bed and open blinds/windows etc.
  • Have a shower and get ready – i.e apply lotion, a dash of makeup, towel dry and brush your hair. Its these little things that are skipped by mums, however it just takes 3-5 mins to thank your own body.

CREATE A WEEKLY TO-DO LIST

weekly planner

We never have time to do additional tasks apart from daily routine till an emergency bell rings. Its time you set priorities by creating a list of jobs/tasks you want to accomplish in the coming week and just get going.

CREATE ORGANISED ZONES IN YOUR HOME

organising home
Learn to organize your stuff. Create zones or allign a specific drawer or placing your stuff in the right folder etc.
  • Keep a zone to place schoolbags, store room supplies, office stationary etc.
  • Allign medical reports in a specific drawer or assign a place for tool kit in a relevant storage
  • File your utility bills and place postids to directly reach out for your own convenience

KEEP A DAILY DIARY

writing in a diary
We have a very bad habit on relying on our memory for everything. So if any one grocery is over, we rely on our memory to purchase it when we go out and complaint of not buying it when we return home. The best thing to do is keep a diary handy, be it on your mobile or a proper book and write down what is needed.
Similarly, this can be very helpful to note down the milk purchased, clothes given to laundry on day to day basis and you would have a note of your expenses.

Hope these tips help you to be an Organized Mommy.

The Hype on Surname Change or No Change

In the current modern age India, you would come across three kind of women.

First – The traditionally rooted women who would change her surname after marriage. Adopting husbands last name has been a common practice since generations beyond. Be it our mom or masi, chachi’s of the families, they would follow the custom without any questions asked and so do some women in today’s time.

Second – The women who try to strike the right balance by owning two surnames i.e maiden and in-laws. Be it Kareena Kapoor Khan or Aishwarya Rai Bachan, these set of women believe in keeping their maiden identity alive and at the same time embark on their journey of marriage.

Third – The women who held their heads high by believing in retaining their original identity like the famous Twinkle Khanna who shunned a man who kept asking her why she did not changed her surname by just a mere statement #marriednotbranded.

Whatever the case may be, its completely normal for a women to choose or take decision of adopting hubby’s surname or not. But this has been quite a controversial topic, specially when you have crotchety uncles and aunts who comment and give judgements on your decision.. like some say ‘you are married na, so you should not be disrespectful to your inlaws’ or others may give a tap on ur back and say ‘ that’s what i call women empowerment’ …arrgh like seriously..

So what should one do to ease of the paparazi around the surname change.

1. Talk it out with your hubby. Clearly inform him whats on your mind. You may feel protective about your maiden name, but to clear your thoughts is extremely important.

2. Do listen to your husband on what he thinks about the change… does he feel fine you keeping your maiden name or is he forced by his parents or does he desire that you as a couple be called as mr and mrs xyz..

3. It should not be a one sided decision, a mutual consent is what is needed to let this issue not bother you.

4. Once finalised, ‘say it loud’, ‘believe it loud’ and ‘live it loud’ and let no nasty comments upset you.

Well to just give you a little push i would prefer giving an example of my own situation…I am Mrs. Sonam Jain and i did adopt my hubby’s surname. Initially i started feeling all protective about my maiden name, however my husband expressed his view on how he had dreamed and desired of his wife owning every bit of his life including his surname and his thought process made me love him more and got me to easily take a decision.. Although for my personal gratification i kept my maiden signature intact in all our documents, we broke all the hype the society has created on surname change issues.

Declutter your Clutter

I walk into my moms house to find my favourite pyjamas i use to wear before marriage..my gujju mom tells me she has packed some of my essentials in a bag and stored in some random cupboard which is beyond my reach. I call out my maid to give me a ladder, climb up and open the cupboard just to receive a rainfall of fancy baskets, bag of rugs, some old recipe books and loads of other junk and settling dust which just makes me cough on and on…and in the midst of it i see a small trunk where my essentials are packed haphazardly.

I sigh !! And when I question why have you stored this shit for a long time. I get a plain mundane answer,“You never know when you need all of this”. I try and explain we can buy all this when in need, currently why stuff the house with these unwanted goodies. But moms being moms, she shuns me “I know how to take care of my house, i have been doing it all by myself for past 30-35 years”.

Frustrated, i walk out of the room wondering we are so much habituated to store unwanted things that we cant let it go and make no use of it either. So here i am sharing some of my thoughts to the new modern women on how to de-clutter your home and live with space.
1. Setup a time table – every 15 days you should to clean one corner/one room/ one cupboard of the house depending upon your time schedule.
2. Pen down the time table on your phone and set a reminder for yourself. You can also remove a print out and place the same on your fridge/ cupboard etc.
3. Create 4 different boxes which you will use every-time when you clean your space
i. Donate
ii. Discard
iii. Sell
iv. Store
4. On the day of your decluttering exercise, remove the old junk and place them in the relevant boxes.
5. Involve your kids in the same. Let it be a family activity, where they will learn morals like how to keep things clean,  how to give away stuff to the needy etc.
6. Once you have packed the boxes assign date and time to conduct the relevant action for donate, sell and discard boxes.
7. Clean the cupboard or space before restoring the contents of the store box.
8. Once done pack or organize the essentials with necessary packaging and place it back on the space / cupboard provided.
Finally, Enjoy the decluttering exercise and share your knowledge to clean the storage with your moms, just like the way i have done ….

Say Hello to Babymoon

Its a random morning, where you are busy sipping some coffee and catching up with the bollywood gupshup. Somewhere you have spotted a famous personality travelling with his ‘mom to be’ wife in some wonderful paradise of the world. Shutterbugs focus is skewed to the cute little baby bump and lit up face of the mom to be holding her hubby dear and declaring to the world they are on their babymoon journey……and here you have already started day dreaming and planning about your babymoon.

The concept that seemed to be like a fad is now gaining popularity among the young couples, who want to explore and cherish all the facets of their lives including the 9 month pregnancy period in a sauve way…

With my little experience i am here to give tips on how to create a perfect babymoon casket.

1.  Talk to your Doctor
Before planning your vacation, visit your gynac and seek permission. Every pregnancy is different and so is every individual. Do the sonography and other relevant checkups and inform the doctor when you are planning to leave. Seek a fit to travel certificate in case necessary.

2. Mode of transportation
This is very crucial. Ask your gynac and take calculative decision on what suits you and what not. Restrict your travel time to 2-4 hrs in case of road and flight. In case you plan to travel in train, i would advice select not more than 12 -16 hrs journey.

3. Choice of resort/ hotel
 There are technically no speciality resorts that cater to pregnant women. Hence, be sure what kind of place you want to live in.
I would suggest to go for resorts which offer big buffet spreads so you have the choice to pick n choose what you want to eat, resorts that have facilities like spas to help you pamper or can arrange safe transport for you to visit nearby places.
Basically be clear of your requirements.

4. Carry Right luggage
Don’t go overboard in carrying your favourite dress or accessories. Pack what is needed. Carry pregnancy essentials like the backache pillows, medicines, stretch mark creams etc which is the need of the hour.

5. Restrict your movements
You may have decided to explore a new destination but don’t strain and exert your self. If you cant move ahead, quit from moving further and restrain to enjoy the journey instead.

6. Stay hydrated
Often you forget to pamper yourself out of sheer excitement of exploring your vacation joint. Its very essential to consume liquids like juices, coconut water, milk etc from time to time so that you and your baby are in the best of heath throughout the day

7. Live it right
You and your hubby dear should spend time with the baby. Its a babymoon after-all and the baby in the womb has to be made comfortable.. Get your hubby talking to the little one, sit and relax to enjoy the natures bounty, be at peace with yourself since things would change soon.

8. Restrict yourself from social media
Its nice you want the world to know about your big babymoon plans and how cool as a couple you have been to break the tradition norms of not travelling while pregnant. But don’t overdo with the social media. Click pictures to create your personal timeless memories, build strong bond as a family, cut off with the gadgets ..its all about living those moments together

And lastly

9.  Be happy and smile
This is the day you have waited for. Even if things go wrong and you may not get the room you booked, your flight got delayed or could not explore the sightseeing place..calm down….just be happy and smile as you are now a half mother and motherhood begins here..

Tips to Celebrate 31st Eve during Pregnancy

Yes, We have done it all !!! Partied till 4:00am, consumed unlimited daru and made a cocktail of it, started a new friendship franchise or build a mountain of worthless new year resolution.. yes, we have done all of this on every 31st dec till date..
But with the changing phase of your life, this seems to be a far fetched way of celebrating the much awaited eve and hence here i am sharing some tips specially for pregnant women to enjoy their new year with ease, pleasure, excitement and dollop of fun …
1. Organise a house party
So what if you cant go out in the mass crowd and enjoy some music and booze..you can surely be a good host and organize a sweet little party at your home. Invite close friends, tell everyone to share some party responsibilities, create the right ambience and here you are no less than a party organizer.
2. Set up the mood
Purchase some home disco lighting, indoor games and photo props online to set up the decor. Download latest and all time favourite songs on your usb and you have created the right set up for the finale event.
3. Keep food as your main priority.
Let your friends enjoy their favourite delicacy by ordering from their favourite restaurant but i would suggest you prepare your food at home. You can also show off your culinary skills by preparing mocktails that tingle not only your taste buds but even the alcohol drinkers. Let it be simple and a healthy meal for you, since restaurant wont listen to your customisation due to quantum of orders they have specifically on this day.
4. Take breaks 
You dont have to be a perfect host and push yourself. Take breaks in middle of your activities. Sit/ lie down and relax. In case you suffer from nausea,backaches or any pregnancy led symptoms be upfront to your guest and let that not affect you.
5. Most important – Enjoy
From here onwards you are stepping into motherhood and your priorities would change. Be cheerful and enjoy every bit of this moment since its not coming back and await the new year with special lil one in your arms…

The Beginning of Motherhood

I don’t have words to let you know when it all started.. Was it when I got to see the two positive lines on the pregnancy test or was it when I started to have morning sickness.. was it when I felt the first kicks or was it when I saw the baby first time on the sonography screen.

The journey of being a mother had just begun. I knew I was on the parenting roadway being prepared to accept the new phase of life which every woman dreams of…..

The beginning of being a mother…

But this is not so easy as it sounds…  Its an emotional Rollercoaster ride that makes you feel exited on one hand and makes you feel nervous on the other hand. It feels like you are getting married the second time where the society narrates the surface story everyone dreams and simultaneously hides behind.

And here you are preparing for the big D day…Identifying the right maternity wear, ditching your favourite pair of jeans, joining prenatal classes,  saying bye bye to junk food, taking advice’s from going to be grandparents, going for the last honeymoon etc etc etc…

But all of this preparation,  anxiousness and celebration  will only have a meaning when a day will arrive in your pregnancy  where your baby will communicate with you and whisper

‘Don’t worry mom,  I am going to give birth to you’.

And that will mark the beginning of your motherhood…